All Tonia has to do is follow my instructions precisely…

I’ve taken a long hard think about what to do with this Tonia girl…  I’ve just sent her this email:


Whoa, this is crazy stuff!

sorry I took a while to reply – I’ve just finished work at the farm and don’t have wifi in my tractor.

I understand that you might be a lot of trouble owning this bag, but its a lot of money and it would take you forever to spend it and I wouldn’t trust sticking it in a bank – they’d ask too many questions!

tbh – I don’t think I would want to rent my flat out to you – you must think I’m crazy to get involved in something like this.

However I think I could help you out somewhere. This is what we can do:

First I could give you my bank details, and you transfer in small payments at a time, say, just enough to cover the price of a new Mac Air perhaps – then I’ll transfer the money out into a separate bank account in your name: Wonia Tong. We keep doing this until I’ve got enough money to get this guy I know (Rusty) to get a fake passport – I can then send you one over, you hop on a plane, get over to my place, we’ll buy a fast car (maybe Fiat500?) and just get the hell out of there.

The only problem I have is you’re connected that guy who’s now convicted of death, your ex-boyfriend. Sooner or later someone is going to work out that he might have left the bag full of money with you and come after you. I don’t think you have much time to sort this out. Its imperative that you follow my instructions quickly, and to the letter, if not you will be in grave danger! I’m super-serial here.

I suggest buying another bag exactly the same as the one you have, then… no that won’t work… just get another bag, a different one, and transfer the money from that bag in to the new one (there might be a tracking device in the original bag – I’ve seen it happen in loads of films) …. ergh.. actually that won’t work either… I’m not sure what to do… if only we had an idea!! We need a plan.

Do you have any ideas? I have to go now, my rich aunt Doreen needs help getting out of bed again.

Let me know.


Hopefully she’ll reply to me again tonight… before we all get killed!!



One thought on “All Tonia has to do is follow my instructions precisely…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s