I can’t escape the urge to draw, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I buy books about it, I buy magazines about it, I think about it, I attempt it, I have a job involved with it, I admire websites from those that do it… and worse of all, I continually try and look for ways of taking a short cut to be able to do it. And they always fail. No surprise there.
I know what I should do. Chuck in work, go back in to education and study it. To emmerse myself in that world 24/7, to give up many other hobbies and to draw every day. Learn the long hard slow way, listen and be taught properly by someone that knows what they’re doing.
My only other option is to give up most of my hobbies and spend my evenings and wkends focusing on it purely.
The other option is like Golf. Know that I like it, and save it until I’m old and frail and can’t do anything else.
Ahhhh, what to do?
I guess its all about timing, and waiting for the right time to do things, or to think sod it and dive right in whatever. I’m great at dishing out advice, but I suck and listening to my own. If I met me, I’d tell me this was a clear passion that I’ve had all my life, I should find a way to do it now, consider going back in to education and to commit to it. As it’ll probably bug me until the day I die, if I don’t do it.
I know this… however I also know me, better than anyone else. And I know that I enjoy doing many different things, I enjoy being able to change my mind and start something else, whether that’s photography, web design, skateboarding, gymnastics, training, print design, making music, writing or volunteer work. I love it all. All of these I love, all of these stops me from being bored, and most of these makes me money in some way.
Sooo …. what to do?
The likelihood of me jacking in everything and going back to study it is close to zero. It was also close to zero 7yrs ago when I was also thinking about it. Why haven’t I done it? Fear of changing my lifestyle so much that I end up taking a step (or 10) backwards from the point in life I’ve reached already. Thats it in a nutshell. I’ve tried self tuition and haven’t found a way getting results from it. I need 1-1 mentoring in an environment whereby I’m focused and committed.
There is online versions. Very good versions too. The same 1-1 mentoring with top industry artists. Just pay your £700 or so, and you’ve got it. But I still feel this is a short cut. And I’ve got a thing about shortcuts. I hate them. Since the day I learnt to play a keyboard when I was 10, when I knew I should have learnt the piano. I know shortcuts don’t work (for me anyway).
The thing I admire most, is people that can exist with nothing. Hairdressing is a perfect example. A trained stylist only needs a pair of scissors to get work. An artist only needs a pencil. A classically trained musician only requires their instrument. I like things like that. I don’t like having to rely on masses of equipment to get a job done. I’d love to be able to use simple classic instruments to work. I think I’m really anti technology atm. Which is ironic as I’m typing this on a laptop through a broadband connection!
so yeah, back to drawing. what will I do tomorrow? probably the same as I do most wkends, go to bath, wander the art section of Waterstones, get all amped up, go home and try drawing something, failing, giving up and eating some cake instead. Luckily tho, I’ve been a trained to eat cake all my life and I’m built for it.