watch how you react…

A 2 mins bike ride into town can stir some odd thoughts. Today I considered about people who talk behind others backs, and the reactions that become of it.

This would be understandable if I’d actually engaged in a conversation of this type, but I haven’t.. sooo… where that came from I’m not sure.

I’ve figured in the space a tall mocha with cream, that everyone does it, and those that claim they don’t are liars or idiots. I also think discussing people ‘behind their backs is essential’.

When we develop a thought or opinion about someone, we have no balance in our argument. There is no conversation. We need to converse in order to create certainty. Bringing up thoughts with an individual without balance and clarity, has the potential to make us look like fools.

A correct opinion needs to be formulated from more than one perspective. If the opinions and perspectives of others confirms our thoughts, then we can approach the discussed person with balance, confidence and certainty.

The issue of discussing someone falls hard on the shoulders of the discussed person, because they don’t understand how the process works. When someone reacts badly to overheard conversation, don’t apologise, instead … educate them.


2 thoughts on “watch how you react…

  1. I totally agree with you about the importance of discussing people with others. At the very least it allows you to get a greater perspective on who they are and whether your judgments of them are reasonable or not. I also think that it is not a bad thing to complain or moan about other people and their actions: if you do it reasonably (i.e. not being vindictive or malicious) and you would be prepared to defend your complaints to them if they did overhear or your comments got back to them, then often it is a ‘safe’ way to get niggles off your chest. It means that you can vocalise things that are bothering you but no-one gets hurt. Of course, you need to be careful who you complain about your friends to as sometimes it can be twisted and used against you. But talking about people behind their backs is an important part of human interaction. And that includes being positive about people behind their backs too…

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