over the past few years… possibly 5 of them, I’ve been thinking about fate. The concept of it, because it appeals to me. I’ve blogged about it before, tho where I know not. But regulars readers may well catch echoes of deja vu, sorry about that. I make no apologies for this (you just have mark) .. so I have..
but anyways… I been thinking about it a lot, because its a theory that sits comfortable in my head. And I tend to go through life, piecing things together that sit comfortably in my head. Its the only way to live imo.
Anyways I’ve pretty much formulated a theory which I’m happy with. I can quote it on request at depth, and convince most people that either its a possible concept or I’m completely deluded and should be institutionalised. (heads you win, tails you win)
But the other day I had a thought in the car. It was about ‘time’ and how it could exist in my head in a way that I could feel comfortable with. Now, if I chat to people, generally I give the impression that I don’t think in shapes and colours and other various visuals…. this is still true… because as a friend of mine questioned… ‘so if I say the word ‘breasts’ to you, you don’t visualise a pair of breasts?’ … which I don’t… I just hear the word ‘breasts’ and don’t visualise anything… odd for a visual man like myself you may think that’s employed for his visual donations to the graphical and web world. I agree.
This approach appears to change for me when I need to understand something difficult (like ‘time’) … then I _do_ need to break it down into visuals.
Sooo… I thought for a bit and decided ‘time’ looks like a rectangle white bedsheet in my head. Held out tight at 4 corners so I can see the whole shape. I like the idea of time being big and white and open like that. I then pictured one side (the left) as being time past, and the right being time future. This felt nice to me… so I went with it. I then needed to place ‘me’ on the timeline… and I would represent the ‘present’, I figured the best way to do this was by feeding the white bedsheet through a napkin ring, or a bobble that the scouts would use to tie their neckerchiefs etc. I like the idea of a metal silver napkin ring though. Because it’ll slide nicely left and right across the bedsheet timeline between the past and the future.
So hopefully you’re still with me. I have a white bedsheet with the corners held out tight, wide and open and a napkin ring in the midde of the sheet pulling the sheet (of time) into a ‘point’ which I’ll refer to as the ‘present’. The napkin ring is me. Where I am in time. I like the idea of pulling this time sheet together visually because I know me (mark) can only experience ‘time’ in that moment. No matter how wide or universal time can be for everyone, for me, I can only experience that one moment. Nothing more or less, therefore I have to visually represent that as something small on the sheet. And the ring does it nicely.
If I slide the ring towards the far left (past) end. I minimise the (my) past to a point and emphasise the future to the maximum. The only time in my life I would have experienced this is during my birth, childhood and youth years. Where by, I have very little, or no past to weigh me down* and a aparently infinite future ahead of me. And likewise… if I slide the ring all the way to the right (future), representing the past is all behind me and there is very limited future left in my life. Both these positions in time represent a triangle or pyramid either pointing to the left or the right, depending at which point in time I happen to be at. This again sits lovely in my head, because people are always asking silly questions and making statements about ‘whats the point of life?’ etc. When to me, ‘the point’ of life is very real and visual only when we start life (as a newborn) or end life (as a pensioner?) when either the whole of ourlives are in front of us, or the whole of our lives is behind us.
tho, I’m not going to expand on that thought, because it is described fully in my fate theory (to be presented here at another time).
If you’re confused about my visual of time, then I guess I haven’t explained it fully enough, and explained all the other ‘life’ theories in my head that reinforce it. Sorry about that, but I guess there is a lot more to come, if you’re patient/interested enough.
ok I think I’m done. I just wanted to get that one out (of my head). To make room for all the other thoughts I’m having atm. Right I’m done here, time to go sniff some book pages in Waterstones.
*I did at one stage picture time past as a bag slung over my shoulder that I am carrying, and weighing me down the older I got with dates, events and memories throughout my life.
Note: I’ve just read this through and am not happy about the way its trails off without a conclusion or more depth to the ‘shapes’ of time that I’m describing. This just highlights to me that I need to get off my arse and finalise my ‘fate theory’ sharpish like, otherwise I’m going to look like a wet doughnut in a chickens tea party.