Has the river run dry?

I was thinking last night about how I’m not creative anymore. and it bugs me. I want to be again. Possibly the reason why I was and why I’m not now, is because I didn’t used to have a creative job and now I do.

For the hours of 9-5(ish) …. I have to create, create, think, create, get ideas, think and create some more. Repeat this process for 3years and eventually when I get home the last thing I want to do is ‘create’ again… I’m wanting to either go skate, or ‘veg out’ infront the tv.

I’m naturally creative though…. so I always end up doing something… btu often things don’t get finished or end up ‘half arsed’ because of shortage of time or something.

I really want that ‘natural driven’ creativity to resurge again… I liked it when I used to hide from my boss at work and sit writing lyrics/peotry/words about anything on my mind and go home with pockets full of scraps of paper with doodles on. At home I still have the folders full of these bits of paper. Here’s an example of the stuff I used to jot down: “I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me, than a full frontal labotomy” <– see stuff like that…. anyways…

the only option I can see is too leave my webdesign job and return to something uncreative like I used to do (warehouse worker). How attached am I to my job here? zero … though I am attached to the money! 🙂

Also the music I wrote years ago is infinitely better, the graphics I created were much more frequent and detailed, and the sites I created were much more inspiring.

One thing I’m completely sure about is having a ‘creative’ job destroys my creativity at home. Work becomes completely boring…. which causes the act of being creative generally to fall in the mental category of being completely boring also.

Soo… this is what I thought about last night as I sat playing the guitar and wondering why I wasn’t making the melodies I used to.

The decision hasn’t been made to jack my job in. But at least I’m now fully aware why my home life is feeling stifled.

speak soon.


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