Two things…


Wee and eyeballs:

if you lie in bed on your back and lay your forearm across one eyeball, for 60secs you will experience double vision… and no matter how much rubbing of your eye you do, it won’t start working again until all the blood has returned and the eye has recovered from the pressure. This combined with lying awkwardly on top of the other arm, and giving yourself a dead arm by losing the blood supply, means when you get up to pee in the night, firstly you can’t see straight and locate the target (bowl), you also can’t hold your penis correctly. It is at this time when the ‘male directional jet’ fails to work entirely… and I wee on my toes.

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